NVC plus focusing

It’s all too easy for phrases like ‘your needs equal to mine’ and “we’re all doing the best we can to meet our needs” to become pat. Needs consciousness becomes far more effective when it is embodied. Hearing my body more through focusing work is for me a whole new journey. ‘NVC plus focusing’ also helps me communicate needs in ways that many more people get, I surmise.

Flavours of Nonviolent Communication

Two of the main components of NVC appear to be:
1) Care & Consideration for others
2) Self-responsibility.
The flavour of NVC that I serve up emphasises the second component more than many people like. Perhaps there is a third main flavour to be be found too; that a third of the population would actually prefer to the other two.
Malcolm Gladwell (of ‘The Tipping Point’ etc fame) illustrates well how this third main flavour was found with pasta sauce; so why not with NVC?

Intro -Am I taking sufficient account of both our needs?

Dear needs-conscious reader,

If I sent you a  link to my new space for private reflections, thank you for being interested, whatever your motives for that interest. If you came here from the wider web world, again welcome. Please stay, and please comment because I’m curious as to how you came here and what you want(ed) from this blog? Maybe you want to start a blog and use the same category to store this blog in: FTBO NVC BALANCE

Did you come here as a way to meet your/my need for connection?

Did you come here to understand and/or to be understood?

Perhaps  a [(wo)Man’s Search for] Meaning was the need that you were serving? And/ Or Play?

I’ve learned much about happiness and flow recently thanks to Ratnaguna’s ‘Happiness’ talk . This talks comes from the variable quality series available as free podcasts from  Manchester Buddhist Centre on itunes.

The state of ‘flow’ is a much-valued state. And the deepest teaching for me recently I have translated into a personal commitment to ‘Serious Playfulness’: I now try to simultaneously:

1) make all my choices as if my current choice makes all the difference to the welfafe of all beings

2) laugh at the very idea that anything I do makes any difference!

Now I’ll share my private diary notes of this morning, in the hope that it touches something for you (and helps me check out where I am in seeing my diary in print):

My work is to understand what stops me sharing more, and what stops me treating your needs as important as my own. One way, to which I’ve remained attached to doing this for 36 months so far, is through the development and use of the website freelender.org. Publicity for freelender.org (at Buddhafield Festival in 2009) involved the quote from me : ‘Everything I own may be borrowed.’ Now to extend this quote:

Everything I own is only borrowed i.e. Everything I own must be let go of when I die. It is useful practice to start ‘letting go’ of individualistic possessiveness now. Thank you to Edmund Johnson’s work on turning our shared vision into the version of freelender.org currently on-line (with great functionality though some server glitches). Whether the site remains or has to be let go of within 5 years, I still have a great new working ground with neighbours, friends etc. Something within me is a bit shaky at the ideas I currently have of offering new (or lost) ways of sharing (to neighbours and Avatar cinema goers) through offering DVDs, books, tools, and suggesting that people join me for Play-Reading Sessions and/or invite me round to watch films with them.”